Looney Laws (Round 2)
POSTED January 8, 2020
Ah, America home of the brave and land of the free. It’s a great place, isn’t it? Not only do we have the strongest military in the world, great people, and amazing food, we have some of the stupidest laws in the world! Yup, you heard that right! We have some insane laws that will make you ask what in the world were these people thinking! Hi, I’m Rival Riot and today I’m going to share some downright outrageous laws.
Did you know that in Mississippi profanity in public could land a person in jail for up to 30 days? It’s illegal for anyone to use vulgar or obscene language in the presence of two or more people, and it’s not just Mississippi! In Maryland, you can’t swear in public either. Many people swear on a daily basis, often in public. It’s just a natural habit to most. There are also people who suffer from Tourette’s Syndrome, a neurological disorder that can cause ticks such as coprolalia “the involuntary and repetitive use of obscene language, as a symptom of mental illness or organic brain disease.” This means that not only are they not able to control when or where they swear but if there tick where to go off in a public place in Mississippi they could end up in jail. Tourette’s Syndrome affects an estimated 100,000 Americans alone. This leads me to conclude that not only is this law stupid, but by restricting what we can and can not say it violates the First Amendment, freedom of speech.
In Arkansas, you can’t honk your horn near a sandwich shop after 9:00pm. This law is oddly specific about when and where you can and can not honk your car horn. What happened that made them decide to pass this law? Did someone go harass a sandwich shop owner by honking their horns near the shop everyday after 9:00pm? Was it revenge for a horrible sandwich? Was traffic so bad that he just couldn’t take it anymore and wanted a law saying that they couldn’t honk horns near his shop? What made him so desperate to get a law about horns near a sandwich shop? This is a question to be left unanswered.
Animal abuse is a big no-no! That goes for all animals, big and small. But in Ohio fish are especially important. Give the importance of fish, the people of Ohio decided to make a law stating that it is illegal to give alcohol to fish. Why they decided fish of all things needed to be banned from alcohol, we’ll never know. Maybe those fish where just getting too out of control with all the parties, blasting their music at max volume, annoying the neighbors, and getting drunk, then passing out in the middle of the street. Now as random as that is it’s not the only weird law Ohio has surrounding fish. Another law is that it is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. Sure Monday through Saturday your free to go all out on those whales but come Sunday you better pack that harpoon gun up and ship out.
In Arizona, you’re a criminal if you keep a donkey in your bathtub. I don’t know why anyone would keep a donkey in their bathtub in the first place, but according to a law made in 1924, it is illegal for donkeys to sleep in bathtubs. Think about this for a second. Why in the world would someone pass a law about donkeys sleeping in bathtubs? Can’t think of any good reasons? Well, allow me to enlighten you.
A rancher living near Kingman, Arizona remodeled his bathroom. He put in a new toilet, a new sink, and most importantly a new bathtub. Not knowing what to do with the old items he discarded them outside. His donkey, who we shall name Derpy, took a liking to the tub and started sleeping in it. The rancher thought nothing of it as it wasn’t causing any harm and he was no longer using it. The rancher put some old blankets and pillows in the tub so Derpy would be comfortable. Now this might not seem like too bad of a thing, a donkey sleeping in a bathtub, the donkey is comfortable and isn’t causing any harm. Right? WRONG! Our story is about to take an interesting turn.
A nearby dam broke loose and ended up flooding a town and the surrounding areas, including the ranchers farm. As the waters started to rise the farmers old tub started to float away… With Derpy, still sleeping inside. When the farmer found out that his precious Derpy, the donkey was missing he immediately started to search for him. He asked everyone he knew to help him look for his lost donkey. Eventually they found Derpy, but the story doesn’t end there. The bathtub was floating out in the middle of a basin, a large circular body of water. The townspeople desperately attempted to save the donkey and finally, after a long struggle they managed to get the bathtub and Derpy, to safety. After that, the townspeople passed a law to protect all of donkey kind. A law that would change all of the donkey generations to come. A law of utmost importance. That law is that donkeys are no longer allowed to sleep in bathtubs.
Well that’s all the stupid laws I can handle for now. But don’t worry I’ll be back! Join me, Rival Riot, next time for more Loony Laws! Cause trust me, it only gets worse from here.